After a morning of various kinds of traditional Sunday activities (sleeping, eating bacon and egg white sandwiches, drinking sweet black tea, cleaning for a couple of hours (well I do that anyway) we decided to head over to Yokaichi and the local park in an attempt to fly T.O.H's kite, see the monkeys they keep there and enjoy a spot of nature.
Well we got one of those things, as we trod along the parks paths I noticed some nice butterflies hanging around a tree, stopping T.O.H to point them out. Only to realise that along with the lovely butterflies was a not so lovely collection of massive hornets, animals that frankly and deservedly should scare the ballyho out of anyone (If wasps are bastards, and I agree with Saxondale on this one, then Hornets are the psycho stalker bastards) so we walked very very quickly away from them, no looking back, no stopping. We get further down the steps towards the monkey cage when I look over and realise that actually sitting on the OUTSIDE of the cage is a annoyed looking monkey. Now I should just point out that these monkeys live in a small concrete cage so you'd understand why they might be a little annoyed at people. So as T.O.H gives out an understandably surprised shriek I realise we can't go back because of the hornets and so we have to go straight on. So like a holidaying English family who have just walked into the red light district of Amsterdam we try to go straight past without even a glance only to find the red faced simian following us for a closer look. Now you may have been to places abroad (unless theres a monkey park in Leicester no one told me about) where our lovable furry friends hang around looking for food, or seen them in a zoo drinking tea (are they still allowed to do that?) . But I should explain that this one had been living in a small concrete cage poked at by kids and was very very angry, screeching and rearing up while we attempt to avoid its gaze (actually is this right? I had assumed you shouldn't look at it and back down in case it thought you were a threat, or are you supposed to shout things, or show it its own reflection... no wait thats baboons damn) . So we now start heading down one set of steps it leaps around us and begins to climb up a trellis along the side and really really begins screeching over our heads so he have to head back up and over to the other steps (hurded by a monkey! what ever next) what we would do if it jumped at us I don't know, maybe fend it off with rice cakes? blow air at it with our bike pump? wrestle to the ground like The Flea in Mucha Lucha with the winner decided after three falls? Arrhrhhhhh!!! Anyway we head down the steps out of the park of horrors with it still shouting at us (It was Japanese monkey so we couldn't understand it, don't you know).
We stagger out and along the road for a bit and eventually settle down onto a bench, only to be approached by two policemen. As you know I'm an old hand at proving that yes I am supposed to be in this country and no I'm not loitering with intent to be foreign, after taking my details down we try to tell them about the monkey but after the first attempt it seems they think we are just shocked at seeing a monkey, we try again (using better hand gestures and drawings) and they seem to understand better (the word escape seems to be a word Japanese policemen recognise hmmmmmmmm funny that) telling us that there are lots of wild monkeys around and even some "hairy buta" (wild boar) . I'd like to thing the pair are still there now waiting in the bushes with a massive butterfly net and some monkey snacks hmmm monkey snacks.
Sadly no pictures were taken of the for mentioned animals, frankly any pictures of hornets would make even the strongest willed person quake and I think the monkey may have flown into a rage shouting NO PHOTOS NO PHOTOS ( In Japanese of course) But here's a recreation of the event and possibly the reason we were questioned by police in the first place. (or me eating a giant invisible big mak either one)
So if you go to the park today.....DON'T!
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