OF Mice, men, kites and sewage ewwwww

Actually there's no mice to report about really sorry sorry ... all right fine you want mice? well here's some mice, giant mutant, eating things alive mice, happy now?

This beastie is the true reason we don't have dodo's anymore.

Anyway this weekend me and a few friends took our local Board of Education supervisor out for drinks and food, the reason being he's actually a very nice guy and over the last couple of years has had to deal with my many bizarre requests and questions (example; new futons, broken door bells, sick leave holiday leave Christmas leave, err general leave oh and sewage (don't ask, actually you don't have to will mention that in a moment hmmm sewage) err and lots of general "whhhaaaa" sounds coming from my general direction) so to say I owe him a drink or two is to say the least. Anyway it went down all rather nicely in fact so much so we've all agreed on a visit to the local "Magic" bar, which is apparently not the usual magic of money disappearing from your wallet more the Paul Daniels kind, just with out the gnome like magicians and less wizbit.

Of course with the occasional nice hot weather we've been having (in between the bouts of torrential rain that is ) and with fate being what it is this is also the perfect time for our toilet to become blocked up. I won't include details but lets just say when an old septic tank system like ours (we have to use a foot peddle to flush which always confuses guests but does make you feel your driving a weird toilet shaped car) gets block "things" return to haunt you...... shudder the horror, the horror.

Anyway last time this happened (funny enough exactly the same time last year) the official toilet people (and also the people you probably don't want to stand next to on a warm day) ended up having to poke a veeerrrrrry big stick down (Japan land of the high tech devices) this time was far more sophisticated as they used a giant suction machine into the tank, but not before opening it all up and showing T.O.H the blocked pipe section which I presume was an attempt to encourage us to flush more, a bit like if your caught smoking by your parents who make you smoke an entire pack , but you know with more sewage. Of course it probably doesn't help that instead of an actual manhole cover ours has rusted away so much they now just put two cinder blocks over the top to stop people from falling in, oh high tech Japan indeed.

Anyway onto nicer things, well probably. This weekend saw the annual Yokaichi kite festival, possibly the only reason Yokaichi is in wikipedia, and a day full of ohh's and arhhs and the occasional OW!

Last year we saw the giant (around 80 tatami mates big) kite go up up up and then down down down, tangling itself in the bamboo forest for the next few hours, (see here for video and oh so witty comments)
Well this year despite the storm clouds on the horizon and the crackle of the pylons nearby thankfully things went somewhat smoother sailing or plainer flying (what ever you'd call it) and most kites actually achieved full take off. proving lots of ohhhss and arhhhhs indeed.

The big kite itself presumably the kanji on it reads "don'tfalldaon'tfalldon'tfall PLLLEAASEE DON'T FALL"

Everyman man, women and child and dog got in on the hot kite action

As you can see for some people the kite flying was just too much excitement.








On the right the often seen species of Japanese "photo man" seen wearing his traditional garb of fishing hat, waistcoat and a photo lens that's almost as big as he is.






Here he is keeping a couple apart BOOOOO!!!

Here's we have a gaggle of photo man presumably locating their prey and circling RUN YOU FOOL RUN!

Below we have the grand moment itself, one of the largest kites in the world actually managing to take off, while the chosen young ladies at its base fan for all their lives ( I presume if it doesn't fly one of them will have to be sacrificed...well that's a guess anyway) Also not seen about a 100 people holding the kites string below running frantically left and right.





So there you go a grand day out indeed now, I'm off to the local river with a piece of paper and some string cause that's all you need. Well according to Mary Poppins it is anyway.

Art show

Well apart from the many many ohhh so many things that have obviously stopped me from writing this blog, errr although those new cup ramen take time to sample you know!, I've had time to put some work in a small art show held in Otsu, Shiga a small hop skip away from Kyoto (well if you hop on the train)

It's free to enter and contains a wide variety of work from a selection of ALT's around Shiga detailing life in Japan and our reaction to it and a mighty fine array of work it is too if I don't say so myself.

It's on till Sunday and apparently the weather set to be fine on Saturday so treat yourself to a stroll along the beautiful lake Biwa, and a visit to the lovely Otsu Biwako Bunkakan building at the Biwa lakeside. Sadly the building is a victim to the many budget cuts going on around Shiga and will be closing soon so come see it and our work and let it go out in style.

Details about the show can be found here including a handy map

So long, and thanks for all the whale meat.

Hey Jack, did you hear that Mr. Abe resigned?

Hmm I guess not. Hey don't worry I'm sure someone sensible, understanding and moderate will take his place...
Or maybe not....

So it's good bye Mr. Abe a man who...errr well he did visit America, avoided that controversial war shrine and kind of tried to improve relations with other countries, well that was before those comments., and those ministers doing those naughty things I don't think he's going to be remembered all that well especially after the cult of Mr. "hair today" Koizumi (who lest we all forget, in the midst of the excitement of his maverick ways and Elvis worshipping, was rather right wing himself) It's entirely possible that Japan will have a repeat of the 90's where if I remember correctly the country went through a score of prime ministers who's job was seen as simply a figurehead for the government before Mr. K. took over and actually took charge of things. Or will we see "koizumi's Children" take over, ministers who came to Parliament with and inspired by Mr. Koizumi who remain independent from all parties (I suppose making them an independent independent party hmmm)

Anyway what ever happens lets look one last time on Mr. Abe's hang dog features and remember he looked to the sky's in an attempt to save us from aliens but really he should have probably been watching his own minsters.

See Mr. Abe's thoughts (if you dare!!!!) Here

Hey MR. Abe I'm down here, quit looking at that airship.

OW OW ow ow ohh ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

Usually my postings fly out like the beginning of Murder she wrote (although minus the murder of course (actually how does she manage to be in exactly the right place at the right time? (actually after years of studenthood (did I just invent that word) I've noticed you can always spot the murder, they're always the person who's rudest to Jessica "Crime spree" Fletcher)))
However, today I'm smashing at the keyboard like a monkey attempting to write Dickens. And why? (I probably don't hear you asking..) because it turns out that the weekend hike along waterfalls was actually a hike THROUGH waterfalls!

Me and T.O.H generally don't travel to Takashima much, not just because we're Southside they're Westside and obviously we don't want to start a rumble. But because its A) So damn far and B) I'm so damn lazy. Still after a train journey just past Takashima (home of a giant Gulliver statue learning over the town, which possibly explains why so many Japanese people think foreigners are so tall hmm) we headed over to Gulliver's World, situated somewhere in the mountains next toYatsubuchi no Taki a series of increasingly big waterfalls. I not quite sure why a small town in Japan would associate itself with a fictional traveller famous for meeting little people and then big people, but this is Japan the place where you can find Amusement parks called Germany world and Spain land, so I've learnt not to question things too much.
For the young people, sadly the old people are locked out at night to fend for themselves.

From what I've seen, Japanese camping usually takes the form of massive tents clustered around each other just outside of the car park areas, and the only camp fire they see is the glow of the BBQ. So heaven knows what they thought about us heading into the woods to attempt to fend for ourselves, well the massive supply of soy joy bars and caloriemate probably would help.
The first falls we saw were all man made, either that or Nature has finally perfected the straight line.

Once we dumped of our stuff, I thought we were taking a nice swim before changing for the hike. So there I was in just my swimming shorts (no shoes) when I realised that this was the actual hike. Still when faced with these sort of situations 2 years in Japan has kind of given me a "ahhh to hell with it" attitude usually this means eating something that's staring at me, not cooked or left to rot for a few days, but it can also be applied to waterfall hikes I suppose.
Our local stream.

Sadly because of the surprise nature of the hike and me not wanting to walk anywhere on my burning feet, there' s a distinct lack of photo's. however like the student searching for something to write his dissertation on (and will be disqualified for plagiarism) I have found a few items floating around the mystical ether we call THE INTERNET. So Here's a blog detailing one such trek along the trails, although considering that I did it all in bare feet I have a small sense of smugness, that and twisted toes. Some of the pictures below come from the blog to give you an idea of what we were climbing. Note the chain on the right, where I learnt even after all these years away from school I still can't climb ropes.

We clambered over algae smeared rocks, hauled ourselves up tree roots and scrabbled (I do a good scramble) up rusted metal chains and ladders. All in my bare feet, which after a while began to burn when not in the freezing cold waters (oh blessed freezing waters) Still we managed to make good progress. In fact the only real problem came at the top of the waterfalls where I looked down and realised that my toes on my right foot had locked into some sort of weird claws and were unable to move.
Here's where I realised that toes shouldn't be pointing in opposite directions.
(again Image taken from http://www.brandongermer.com/Yatsubuchi-no-taki.htm )

Traveling down the falls was somewhat easier as I tried the ancient method of "sliding on my arse" with gravity on our side and a real need to go toilet (hey I'm not going in the bushes after almost treading on a snake earlier in the day.I have some dignity you know.) we managed to make some good time.
I think at one point we scared the begollies out of a group of Japanese people who were kitted out in hard hats, wet suits, life jackets, oh and climbing shoes all linked together by a massive rope. They turned a corner to find me and my friend crouched on a rock staring at them like some sort of lost tribe of Japan, while having to stop and let them all pass one women asked me if we wore shoes, although I'm not sure she meant in the falls or in my country.
Saturday night was, unlike Elton John who prefers a fight, collecting firewood and then reenacting the ancient art of fire staring hmmmmmmmmmm flames. Before heading over to our tent to appreciate the usefulness of a fly gun.

The next day I've found aches on places I actually didn't know I had, scrapes all over my legs and an inability to move my arms up, but I can say I've done it and I've got the twisted toes to prove it.

For information about getting to the falls see here
Or Here
.... Oh and even better a video of the entire thing, just click on the user for the rest of the videos to see.

Headmaster clothing watch; Tight white polo shirt, elasticated black trousers, white socks.
Headmaster style watch; Like a bond villain who can't afford a hollowed out Volcano and so settles for a secret underground dance class room.

All aboard...the beer train

Whilst reading this posting, or mearly marveling at my incredibly bad use of English, please have the following song playing or at least running through your head, it would also help if you could have random Japanese people stare at you through the window and someone gently prodding you left and right.
James Brown - Night train

(Note this song is to listen too, or, I suppose, for sampling reasons only, not to copy!! If you are the owner of this song and want it removed please let me know, although If I receive a phone call from James Brown I will be kind of amazed for a whoooollle number of reasons.)

Anyway, yes my friends Tuesday night not only saw payday (WOO HOO time to buy that hat!) but also my first and probably only trip on...(well actually the suspense is kind of redundant just by looking at the posts title) THE BEER TRAIN!

You see because me and T.O.H are embedded quite deep into Japanese country side (nearest convience store is a whole 7 minutes down the road!!!!) the only way we can get around is either the bus or the local train, both of which are extremely old, slow and offer a home for most of Japans insect population. But once a year the bunting gets unrolled, tables are set up and the old people of Yochaichi start limbering up, as for 2,900 yen (about 13 pounds, for those who want to know) you get a bento (lunch box, thankfully not this one) set, a bowl of peas and unlimited beer.

BEHOLD THE MIGHTY POWER OF THE BEER TRAIN, true it is our normal train with a sticker on the front but still, BEHOLD ITS AWESOMENESS!

Getting to the station we found lots of eager Japanese people most of whom seemed "older" men although it was heartwarming to see people bring their children along...oh no I mean worrying it was worrying.

On the left is the mighty bento box, on the mighty beer train in the errr mighty Yochaichi (mighty since 2005 FACT!)
Which contained the usual fried chicken things, fish things and various vegetables things. And yes after 2 years in Japan I suppose I should know what everything is, but hey the first step is eating everything, the NEXT is knowing what it is...
I think.....

on the right is our friendly waiter who when not making random
announcements "beer is good, drink beer, beer is life" ect ect was busy responding to our increasingly slurred shouts of sumimuuuuseeeeeeeeeeennnn (excuse me).
After 2 years of being ignored in restaurants due to an inibitily to shout at exactly the right pitch and volume, I think I've now found the correct way to which to bellow said Japanese word although not quite like this.

For some amazingly strange reason all the foreigners (us) were placed at the very front of the train, where we would occasionally have curious people wander on over to stare at us eating. YES we CAN use chopsticks, and YES we can eat fish.

I believe this man was on some sort of bet, "go on I DARE you to speak to those non Japanese people, I'll give you this fish"

After my holiday in England I was a little worried I wouldn't be able to settle back into the swing of things. Thankfully my gifts from England proved to be somewhat popular, my friend foolishly asked me for either Ray Winstons whisker (Of course everyone knows there's only famous people living in London) or a Sherlock Holmes hat. Well Thankfully/sadly I delivered one of these things, frankly whats better (and more appreciated) than to, after an hour of drinking, pull out the masks and presents.

"Elementary dear Watson. If you drink three cups of beer, what ever drink remains, what ever it is, shall be even tastier"

Sadly I forgot his smoking pipe so he had to do with a beer instead.

Halfway through we stopped off for a toilet break, where we found more than a few people on the train already quite wasted, in fact the staff had to wait outside the toilets so that no one would be left behind, although the speed the train went I'm pretty sure I could have ran and caught it up.

Here we can see a very blurry shot
(sorry camera phone + train + lots of beer = random slurring and shaky pictures) of a lady in a Kimono, nothing says traditional like an all you can drink beer train.

And of course nothing Say's BEER TRAIN better than bringing your children along Presumably so that they can learn at an early age the dangers of drinking or alternatively just so they can help you get home. at the end of the journey we (our group and I) descended down the carriages to shake hands with all the other passengers and gcongratulate them for not passing out . Although more than a few times I had this conversation....

Japanese old man to my friend: "Where are you from?"

My friend: "America!"

Old Japanese man: "hurrarrr America HURRARRRR!!!" to me "where are you from?

Me: "England!"

Old Japanese man: "........."

Oh well next year I'm saying Canada to see what happens.

Oh and if this wasn't enough the beer train (sorry I should say BEER TRAIN) also came with a 500 yen off voucher for the local Karaoke...Sadly the rest of the evening is kind of a big blurry mess with vague memory's of singing a German song (Despite not being able to actually speak German of course) taking some random far too drunk photographs with T.O.H, at some point feeling somewhat "ill" while finding the floor very comfortable and a thankfully very nice taxi driver. The next thing I wake up to find my clothes in various piles around the house, a (thankfully empty) bucket next to me and a wallet empty of cash so I presume I had a good time. Anyway I don't recomend going on your local bus and attempting the same experience but next year if your in Yochaichi then I highly recomend it.

Headmaster watch; khaki shirt, black tie, light blue tie pin.
Headmaster style; Dictator sent from the future to erase the past!.

At the .. BOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!

As you may (or may not) have heard the massssssssive typhoon that supposed to hit the Kansai region decided to give up at the last minute. Actually I should have known as this usually happens, the teachers at school or the people in my village get very excited about telling me how this is the biggest typhoon/natural disaster...EVER! I I dust down the (massive) spiders from the storm shutters, only for it to change course. On Saturday we stocked up on all the essential supplies needed for any natural disaster (candles, sprite, flumps, cup noodles and glow sticks, the true essentials) and then settled in, only to find the night sky suddenly clear of rain, wind and any form of flying old ladies (oh no wait that might be the wizard of oz.) Still this meant at least we could head to Rock do.

I think I've written enough in the past about the club Rock do, good music, everyone dancing while facing the DJ, going there in the dark only coming out during daylight hours, yada yada yada.
However this was knickers (on the right) last Rock do night so it made it especially important to have the best night possible. Which I think we more or less managed. How? Well lets check the bongs shall we...
Bong - The DJ (who is a massive Smiths fan) telling us his 2 kids were called "ask" (a boy, after the Smiths Song) and "Rocca" (a little girl)
Bong - Glow sticks, yep what better to celebrate the passing of a typhoon and the last Rock Do than to wave bright sticks around, later to be passed around the club like tropheys of a winning football team (just give us an open top bus and an adoring crowd and its complete. Which lead us to...
Bong - This man (on the left) Sporting a fine bowler hat (Sadly when I wear hats I look like a pepper grinder) enjoyer of fine glowsticks, busy charming the various lady dancers, One of the last few dancers left standing at 6 in the morning, oh and in three hours time would be working at our local subway station, apparently (this was discussed in Jjapanese) he's something to do with health and safety!.

Bong - I love some of the managled band names in Japan, last month was the turn of the (Well I think quite cleaver) "Catcher in the lie", tonight we have the "Meat Eaters", and "Lostage" I can't decide if this is delberate genius or crazy jibberish, and frankly I think its a bit of both.


Here's knickers one more time recieving the sacred Union Jack that symbolises the true good nights at Rock do, handed to the person most likely to be from the U.K (the nearest foreigner).

Knickers we salute you, will miss you and of course wish you all the best.

I should quickly mention the next day as we headed to a night called "Anarchy in the YOU GAY!" (complete with big print) although the website had an extra questionmark at the end, (I presume for any curious Japanese people) which was held in the tiny tiny tiny Twice bar. Although only a handfall of people were there and the music took a while to warm up we all had a great night, possibly (for me) due to not only the extra glowsticks we bought (and yes I am fully aware that only in Japan glow sticks can be seen as adding to a night) but also as the DJ played this Battles tunes which I still insist is the catchiest most jumparoundable (hey I 've been here 2 years I can spell how I want to...) tune this year.

Only 3 days left till I'm off to blighty, packing needs to be done, plants need to be watered and panic needs to be unleashed Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kites kites kites, did I mention the kites? My weekend part 2

So after the prison food and mushroom madness Sunday was more of a casual affair, it was on with the hat, shades and suncream and off to Yokaichi to watch the kite festival. Without doubt the Yokaichi kite festival is on the biggest things to hit our small area with bus, train and bikes full of people arriving to watch the displays, eat from the many many ohh so many hot dog stands and be prepared to run when one of the large kites goes rouge. (Oh and for some reason the computer keeps moving the pictures around, I daren't move anyhing in case they are deleated please bare with me and sorry!)

This is one of the large kites entered into the competition, the rules of which I actually don't know, but I'm guessing it involved flying the kite and attempting not to decapatate anyone (most kites achieved one of these things.. but I'm not saying which one)



Lots of people young and old arrived with their own kites, the sky was full of paintings, insects, birds and errr cows.

This is one of the many chain kites that littered the landscape.


This mans kites (on the right) had the same pattern as his Jimben


Click here for the full album from Picassa

This is the grand display, featuring what I think was possibly the biggest Kite in allllll of Japan around 200 tatami mates big, if that doesn't mean anything to you (and frankly if you don't live in Japan it probably mean nothing) our living room is six tatami mates if thats any indication of size.




This is the crash site of the giant kite, stuck in a the nearby bamboo forest. Oh and thats not the giant kite on the right, the actual giant kite was about 3 times as big.



This man is beginning to realise that when the shadow on the ground gets bigger and bigger you should really begin to run.

And finally click on the fish kite below to go the album. Whilst the video below is the awesome display that no one seemed to be watching except for us, you can hear how loud the wind is throughout.

Hop to it, April - International world (smog) day

Okay its about 7.55 in the morning and I'm still feeling the "effects" of
last nights birthday celebrations so I'm very, very quietly typing
this out.
OH WHEN WILL THE KEYS STOP SHOUTING AT ME!!!!!
Anyway....
On Sunday 22nd April see's an International World (Smog) Day
(the band by the way) with an old skool indiepop/rock  set at
The Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes.
Although BIll and Joanna probably won't be there to enjoy the live
music, John Peel clips, various films, food and bowling surely
a good day is to be
had by all.
Doors are at 5pm.
Heres the site for tickets and more info
Early this year I managed to catch a great Joanna Newsome gig
in Kyoto with Bill callahan supporting. Where I first
heard the great songsycamore. Here's the MP3 via pitchfork.

Mp3 - Bill Callahan - Sycamore

B BOY!!

Huurrarrr today I had my 1st, first grade student lesson. In which I taught the finer points of saying hello, (hi, hello, how are you, hey YOU!!!) Where England is on the map (using blind folded students and a big stick) the finer arts of saying hello (don't crush the hand in a handshake and always let go after you finish) and generally found they really are little kids, not the demonic monsters my teachers seem to be suggesting....
This afternoon we were treated to the 2nd and 3rd graders trying to entice the new students into their club activity groups. Which doesn't sound much but bare in mind that these kids will have the same club for 3 years and attend before/after school at weekends and in all weathers so it kind of makes a difference which one you pick...
Most years sees at least 2 male students dress as women, one singalong, several cock ups and the model making group proving why they have a room to themselves in the back of the school (this group includes the ironically named genki (which kind of means well, active, or in some cases hyper active in Japanese) as he's the most downbeat least active, brow beaten kid at school which probably comes from having a name like genki and everyone pointing that out to him.)

Anyway tomorrow is not only going to be Friday (hurrarr ) but also my B day (HURRARR) and our anniversary (SUPER GENKI HURRARRRRRRR) So with any luck its going to be a picnic by the cherry trees, a game of grand golf and campaign for my real friends as Francis bacon once said...

Have a good weekend

oh and...
School Principle watch; pastel red shirt, navy tie with red stripe
School Principle look; Like the home designer who says "what you need is a wall of skulls by your bed, that would make a statement!!"

Hop to it...

See what I did there?? you can tell I'm feeling creative today, no wait bored, bored is what I'm feeling today.

Anyway in my former life, years and continents ago, I occasionally wrote reviews and what not for an online music magazine. So the odd letter and promo CD still gets sent to my mum and dad (I like they idea that they are more in touch with the music scene than I am). So I thought I'll put in a mention or two for things of interest that have arrived at my emial doorstep.

First up Shit Disco who may have a name that can't be said on radio (you still can't, can you?? western songs with swearing are played all the time here so I'm not sure arhhh ) but coming from Fierce Panda records I'm more or less trusting their credentials. I positively HATE the term new rave, (does no one remember the horror of Nu metal?? quick side note I recently saw a flyer for a new rave club site, yes the term has even spread over here, saying it went on till dawn; sadly the only band it actually listed was the klaxons so I presume thats going to be a long night) so instead I will say they sound like a scuzzier version of pink grease, their myspace is rather nicely made and apparently they put on at least two shows every night now.. Dates on their myspace page...

Also Death vessel will release their album at the end of April on Sub pop records are touring with the great LOW listening to their myspace page (ohhh so that's what its for, now if someone can please explain facebook) they're sounding a little like the Delgado's (excuse spelling) A little bit sons and Daughters and a lot of blue grass all thrown together.

Both myspace pages have tour details.