odds and sods bits and bobs.

From Sunsets

This Friday saw all the schools in the Shiga area compete in a huge variety of sports contests. I've always been a little amazed Japan doesn't excell in more sports as rain or shine, weekday night or weekend you can usually find my students practicing some sport or another. Actually thinking about it its probably something to do with either; Japan playing sports that no one else plays (see Handball for that one, another sport incorporated from America who I blame completely for me having to call football "soccer") or giving themselves a disadvantage (see softball tennis for that one if students played with an actual tennis ball then I'm pretty sure the outcome in Wimbledon would be very different).
Anyway in the afternoon I went off to see the Kendo tournament in one of the local towns whose name, like most of those of my students escapes me. There's nothing quite like walking into a room and seeing 200 kids hitting each other on the head with a big stick while screaming and frankly that's one of the reason why I like watching kendo, another is that apparently size and age doesn't actually matter that much so you'll see tiny tiny students tackle even the tallest (well tall now thanks to all that beef and milk hmmm hormones) student.
Here's a photo from the event taken on my trusty but slightly blurry camera phone. I did find my students developed the "KENDO STARE" which is when a normal happy babbling student dons a kendo mask and promptly looses all abilities to think apart from "HIT HIT HIT HIT YELL HIT YELL HIT"



Here's some you tube footage of championship kendo, the aim is to hit the oppositions head or arm while shouting a certain word (Which I don't think is sorry) and you need 2 or more judges to award you a point to actually score, 2 points and your declared the winner.


Of course being in Japan you know that sooner or later a robot will appear, although I think this ones got a few years of development yet


Oh and I've updated my sunset gallery, the other day I rode over to our local lake and watched the sun slowly fall int eh sky. Click the pictures below to go to the album

From Sunsets

From Sunsets

A grand day out.

On Saturday I headed over to Azuchi, one of the many many ohh so many old capitals of Japan, to see an exhibition of some of my students work. I've never noticed before but it seems at this time of year people are out collecting the dry rice stalks, bundling them together before making them into some something a bit like a cross between a corn dolly and an Ikea lamp. Unfortunatly having arrived in Azuchi I realised I'd forgoten not only my map to the exhibition but any information I might need to actually ask to get there. Still Azuchi is a nice place to visit especially at this time of the year when the sun has a strange hazy glow and the fields are covered with rolling clouds of smoke, especially after visiting some of the many bike shops near the stations. The best find for me was the large lake on the outskits of the city fishermen getting the most out of the last few hours of sunlight with rotting boats gently stiring on the water.
For more pictures of Azuchi click on the picture below

Azuchi

Asta la vista o

For my friends birthday we headed off to USJ for a day of ohhing, arhhing, rider err riding, oh and classic film recreating (and Spiderman 3)
If your ever in Osaka with time on your hands I'd recomend a day trip to Universal studios Japan, if only to see the fantasticly bizare Japanese interpretation of Terminator 2. Maybe its Edward Furlonghs obviously drugged up features plastered over the screens in 3D, or when him, Sarah connar and Arnooooolld are suddenly portrayed by a young Japanese people, no actually its probably when the fake Arhhnoooolld says Asta ra vista oooo in katakana english, but thats the point where the ride reaches its pinicle of hilarity. Here's Nate enjoying Cyberdyne systems who will one day enslave us all, yayyy I for one welcome our new robotic overlords... Oh and me modelling a terminator cookie jar (I'm on the right no left no right hmm not sure)












And here we have our performance of Spider man 3, it's exactly like the original but you know...different (and still better than the actual version) "Hey Harry, hows that pie?"

Note spiderman performing a nice ballet movie at the end, yeah I'm fancypants. Original here

While wondering around we were tempted to dress up and have our photo taken; sadly they had only had a limited array of ballgowns. Although while there we saw this awesome photo, I can only imagine this kid in years to come get shown this photo whenever his parents get drunk. "Hey remember that time we saved you from the T rex BWahahah!"

Oh and is it only in Japan where they serve massive legs of some non discript meat that looks far too red to be chicken, unless Japan actually has recreated the dinosaour just to eat them which I think could actually happen...couldn't it????
Here's Jurassic park, but you know...different.


To preserve my dandy looks I invested in a poncho, sadly it wasn't camoflaughed as I had hoped. But it did make me look like I was wearing a mandom. and no not this one

Oh the shops, Terminator ear pickers, Spiderman slippers although Nothing says cutsy than a dominatrix Hello Kitty, oh except a really creepy Maralyn Monroe one.. all together now in your highest pitched voice...KAWAIIIIIIII!!!!!!!














Too little time, too many rides meant having to skip the JAWS attraction, but hey that didn't mean we couldn't recreate it, Watch that slap, now thats acting...

Jaws, but you know... different.


"and now my son is dead" thats the line I managed to miss, after that it was off to the Hard rock cafe to eat fried things and worship at the guitar once looked at by a member of kiss.. although the Osaka branch do have the gold disc from Europe "final countdown" which frankly is worth coming to Japan in the first place...all together now
!THE FINNALLLL COUNTTTDOWWNNNN, DH DUH DUHHH DUHDUHDUDDUDUDUHHH"

Yet another near miss.

This most recent typhoon seems to have sneaked up on me here, well as much as a massive, massive circle of wind and fury can sneak up on you. I think its that my teachers usually like to ask/taunt me by asking if I had heard how big and scary the latest one is. This time however they seem far to busy with sports day to really bother with their teasing, so the dark foreboding skies, the racing clouds and the constant howling wind were the only clues I had to go on. Still the nice thing about living in Kawai cho, apart from the secret Karaoke parlour and drunken old people, is that we're protected by most storms and what nots by a ring of mountains, so we get to enjoy the amazing skies without the various bad points that always seem to hit Tokyo (downpours, flooding upturned umbrellas) so much. The first sets are from my Camera taken by T.O.H and the rest are from my trusty camera phone.

OW OW ow ow ohh ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

Usually my postings fly out like the beginning of Murder she wrote (although minus the murder of course (actually how does she manage to be in exactly the right place at the right time? (actually after years of studenthood (did I just invent that word) I've noticed you can always spot the murder, they're always the person who's rudest to Jessica "Crime spree" Fletcher)))
However, today I'm smashing at the keyboard like a monkey attempting to write Dickens. And why? (I probably don't hear you asking..) because it turns out that the weekend hike along waterfalls was actually a hike THROUGH waterfalls!

Me and T.O.H generally don't travel to Takashima much, not just because we're Southside they're Westside and obviously we don't want to start a rumble. But because its A) So damn far and B) I'm so damn lazy. Still after a train journey just past Takashima (home of a giant Gulliver statue learning over the town, which possibly explains why so many Japanese people think foreigners are so tall hmm) we headed over to Gulliver's World, situated somewhere in the mountains next toYatsubuchi no Taki a series of increasingly big waterfalls. I not quite sure why a small town in Japan would associate itself with a fictional traveller famous for meeting little people and then big people, but this is Japan the place where you can find Amusement parks called Germany world and Spain land, so I've learnt not to question things too much.
For the young people, sadly the old people are locked out at night to fend for themselves.

From what I've seen, Japanese camping usually takes the form of massive tents clustered around each other just outside of the car park areas, and the only camp fire they see is the glow of the BBQ. So heaven knows what they thought about us heading into the woods to attempt to fend for ourselves, well the massive supply of soy joy bars and caloriemate probably would help.
The first falls we saw were all man made, either that or Nature has finally perfected the straight line.

Once we dumped of our stuff, I thought we were taking a nice swim before changing for the hike. So there I was in just my swimming shorts (no shoes) when I realised that this was the actual hike. Still when faced with these sort of situations 2 years in Japan has kind of given me a "ahhh to hell with it" attitude usually this means eating something that's staring at me, not cooked or left to rot for a few days, but it can also be applied to waterfall hikes I suppose.
Our local stream.

Sadly because of the surprise nature of the hike and me not wanting to walk anywhere on my burning feet, there' s a distinct lack of photo's. however like the student searching for something to write his dissertation on (and will be disqualified for plagiarism) I have found a few items floating around the mystical ether we call THE INTERNET. So Here's a blog detailing one such trek along the trails, although considering that I did it all in bare feet I have a small sense of smugness, that and twisted toes. Some of the pictures below come from the blog to give you an idea of what we were climbing. Note the chain on the right, where I learnt even after all these years away from school I still can't climb ropes.

We clambered over algae smeared rocks, hauled ourselves up tree roots and scrabbled (I do a good scramble) up rusted metal chains and ladders. All in my bare feet, which after a while began to burn when not in the freezing cold waters (oh blessed freezing waters) Still we managed to make good progress. In fact the only real problem came at the top of the waterfalls where I looked down and realised that my toes on my right foot had locked into some sort of weird claws and were unable to move.
Here's where I realised that toes shouldn't be pointing in opposite directions.
(again Image taken from http://www.brandongermer.com/Yatsubuchi-no-taki.htm )

Traveling down the falls was somewhat easier as I tried the ancient method of "sliding on my arse" with gravity on our side and a real need to go toilet (hey I'm not going in the bushes after almost treading on a snake earlier in the day.I have some dignity you know.) we managed to make some good time.
I think at one point we scared the begollies out of a group of Japanese people who were kitted out in hard hats, wet suits, life jackets, oh and climbing shoes all linked together by a massive rope. They turned a corner to find me and my friend crouched on a rock staring at them like some sort of lost tribe of Japan, while having to stop and let them all pass one women asked me if we wore shoes, although I'm not sure she meant in the falls or in my country.
Saturday night was, unlike Elton John who prefers a fight, collecting firewood and then reenacting the ancient art of fire staring hmmmmmmmmmm flames. Before heading over to our tent to appreciate the usefulness of a fly gun.

The next day I've found aches on places I actually didn't know I had, scrapes all over my legs and an inability to move my arms up, but I can say I've done it and I've got the twisted toes to prove it.

For information about getting to the falls see here
Or Here
.... Oh and even better a video of the entire thing, just click on the user for the rest of the videos to see.

Headmaster clothing watch; Tight white polo shirt, elasticated black trousers, white socks.
Headmaster style watch; Like a bond villain who can't afford a hollowed out Volcano and so settles for a secret underground dance class room.

All aboard...the beer train

Whilst reading this posting, or mearly marveling at my incredibly bad use of English, please have the following song playing or at least running through your head, it would also help if you could have random Japanese people stare at you through the window and someone gently prodding you left and right.
James Brown - Night train

(Note this song is to listen too, or, I suppose, for sampling reasons only, not to copy!! If you are the owner of this song and want it removed please let me know, although If I receive a phone call from James Brown I will be kind of amazed for a whoooollle number of reasons.)

Anyway, yes my friends Tuesday night not only saw payday (WOO HOO time to buy that hat!) but also my first and probably only trip on...(well actually the suspense is kind of redundant just by looking at the posts title) THE BEER TRAIN!

You see because me and T.O.H are embedded quite deep into Japanese country side (nearest convience store is a whole 7 minutes down the road!!!!) the only way we can get around is either the bus or the local train, both of which are extremely old, slow and offer a home for most of Japans insect population. But once a year the bunting gets unrolled, tables are set up and the old people of Yochaichi start limbering up, as for 2,900 yen (about 13 pounds, for those who want to know) you get a bento (lunch box, thankfully not this one) set, a bowl of peas and unlimited beer.

BEHOLD THE MIGHTY POWER OF THE BEER TRAIN, true it is our normal train with a sticker on the front but still, BEHOLD ITS AWESOMENESS!

Getting to the station we found lots of eager Japanese people most of whom seemed "older" men although it was heartwarming to see people bring their children along...oh no I mean worrying it was worrying.

On the left is the mighty bento box, on the mighty beer train in the errr mighty Yochaichi (mighty since 2005 FACT!)
Which contained the usual fried chicken things, fish things and various vegetables things. And yes after 2 years in Japan I suppose I should know what everything is, but hey the first step is eating everything, the NEXT is knowing what it is...
I think.....

on the right is our friendly waiter who when not making random
announcements "beer is good, drink beer, beer is life" ect ect was busy responding to our increasingly slurred shouts of sumimuuuuseeeeeeeeeeennnn (excuse me).
After 2 years of being ignored in restaurants due to an inibitily to shout at exactly the right pitch and volume, I think I've now found the correct way to which to bellow said Japanese word although not quite like this.

For some amazingly strange reason all the foreigners (us) were placed at the very front of the train, where we would occasionally have curious people wander on over to stare at us eating. YES we CAN use chopsticks, and YES we can eat fish.

I believe this man was on some sort of bet, "go on I DARE you to speak to those non Japanese people, I'll give you this fish"

After my holiday in England I was a little worried I wouldn't be able to settle back into the swing of things. Thankfully my gifts from England proved to be somewhat popular, my friend foolishly asked me for either Ray Winstons whisker (Of course everyone knows there's only famous people living in London) or a Sherlock Holmes hat. Well Thankfully/sadly I delivered one of these things, frankly whats better (and more appreciated) than to, after an hour of drinking, pull out the masks and presents.

"Elementary dear Watson. If you drink three cups of beer, what ever drink remains, what ever it is, shall be even tastier"

Sadly I forgot his smoking pipe so he had to do with a beer instead.

Halfway through we stopped off for a toilet break, where we found more than a few people on the train already quite wasted, in fact the staff had to wait outside the toilets so that no one would be left behind, although the speed the train went I'm pretty sure I could have ran and caught it up.

Here we can see a very blurry shot
(sorry camera phone + train + lots of beer = random slurring and shaky pictures) of a lady in a Kimono, nothing says traditional like an all you can drink beer train.

And of course nothing Say's BEER TRAIN better than bringing your children along Presumably so that they can learn at an early age the dangers of drinking or alternatively just so they can help you get home. at the end of the journey we (our group and I) descended down the carriages to shake hands with all the other passengers and gcongratulate them for not passing out . Although more than a few times I had this conversation....

Japanese old man to my friend: "Where are you from?"

My friend: "America!"

Old Japanese man: "hurrarrr America HURRARRRR!!!" to me "where are you from?

Me: "England!"

Old Japanese man: "........."

Oh well next year I'm saying Canada to see what happens.

Oh and if this wasn't enough the beer train (sorry I should say BEER TRAIN) also came with a 500 yen off voucher for the local Karaoke...Sadly the rest of the evening is kind of a big blurry mess with vague memory's of singing a German song (Despite not being able to actually speak German of course) taking some random far too drunk photographs with T.O.H, at some point feeling somewhat "ill" while finding the floor very comfortable and a thankfully very nice taxi driver. The next thing I wake up to find my clothes in various piles around the house, a (thankfully empty) bucket next to me and a wallet empty of cash so I presume I had a good time. Anyway I don't recomend going on your local bus and attempting the same experience but next year if your in Yochaichi then I highly recomend it.

Headmaster watch; khaki shirt, black tie, light blue tie pin.
Headmaster style; Dictator sent from the future to erase the past!.

At the ...end of term

Well Thursday see's the last lessons of the day and this term, so thankfully everyone was in good moods and high spirits, even the irratating kid at the back of the class (he of the "sex player" comments) although that maybe because we let him get away with wearing a sweat towel bandana. Anyway a game of reverse jeopardy went surprisingly well allthough the question "Name an animal with only one foot?" got them stumped. (answer in comments please although none from you T.O.H as I know you know the answer) . In fact so far the strangest thing I've had to do is explain the concept of a spork to the students!

Anyway just wanted to add that when your walking around shops in Japan you'll find that packaging is...well different from England.

sometimes cool,

sometimes more evil dictatorish.

Sometimes more Hello kittyish

But these crisps from Osaka entered the scary end of the spectrum, The instructions suggest that all you have to do is add the special powder to it and the packet starts shouting, crisps that scream hmmm maybe it is time for a holiday from Japan.

School Headmaster clothing; navy suit, light blue shirt, blue tie.

School headmaster style; like a retired member of the blue man group

KI KI KI!!!!!!! but do stop the tickling...

Some days I skip out of school like a pixie on its own dust (minus the green hat of course green is not my colour) other days I'm clawing at the walls in an attempt to escape and watch sites like this to calm down. And today? well its kind of both, lessons went more or less according to plan, I think the kids were entertained by my PARK OF HORROR!!! story and the monkey impressions that follow it (shouting "KI KI KI" whilst bearing my teeth) but in the afternoon the kids are irritable and so are the teachers, so today was kind of a no score draw on all regards. Although the 3rd grade boy who seems to find far to much pleasure in tickling me (yeah Japanese kids are generally more hands on that western kids they are always amazed at my arm hair, and really don't get me started when I don't shave for a while and they all start chanting beard, beard, beard!! .) seems to have kicked in up a notch when today he came up behind me put his hands over my eyes and I'm pretty sure smelt my hair! which frankly is just wierd and still freaks me out a little bit.

Anyway, yesterday I made truffle and hazelnut cake so looking forward to coming back home today and seeing how that's faired in the fridge hmmmmmm frosty and I'll probably post the full recipe when I can (be bothered) in the meantime, last week we headed over to Osaka for Knickers penultimate Rockdo. So finally I can put the pictures on, yes really, no really I will
see.

Have you ever seen one shoe laying in the street and wondered "who just leaves one shoe?" A pair would make sense (kind off) but just one!?! was it thrown? stolen by a one legged man? or just...well I can't think of any other ideas but you get the picture (I hope) well the train station near to where knickers lives had something slightly different; 2 pairs of pants just laying neatly on the hand rail. begging the question.

Who wears pants like there?

Why 2 pairs was it really cold that day?

Has someone really picked them up and neatly laid them over the rail?

And why did they disappear when I went back later in the day?

speaking of clothes here are my fancy new skull socks, ohhhhhhhhh

Oh and as for Rockdo? Well it was the usual high standard what else do you need to know really? Even more glowing lights, glitter balls and Smiths songs. Oh and I found the most obvious flyer in the world, we stayed till 6.30 again and I even found a pair of glasses at the end of the night, which although I thought made me look smart and sophisticated, sadly T.O.H and knickers both assure me I actually look like a 35 year old loft designer from the 60's.




Oh well back to the monkey impression
KI KI KI!! KI!!!!