HMMmmmmmmm and no thats not the sound I'm making in preparation for tonight's meal of leak and chicken filled pancakes but the sound of me still considering what to make of 300. Yeah everyone and anyone has already had an opinion about it so I don't think there's much to really say. So let's just put it into bongs shall we and try to put spoilers where necessary.
BONG:ERrrr so lets just get this straight the bad guys are all black, Arabic, pierced of face or warped of body, oh and all the black guys have deepened voices hmmmmm okkkaayy. I get that its supposed to be the narrators version of events but thats really not made clear enough by far. SPOILER! And then he managed to get his dad and mom together thus making sure he was born, all through the power of rock and roll! END SPOILER
BONG: The very very funny god king, sorry wasn't he supposed to be funny? The bit with his massive hands on Gerald "see my lovely beard" Butlers shoulders was both hilarious and strange or "hilarnge" if you prefer...With the fact that he was wearing make up and the actor seemed to think he was channeling the spirit of Rue Paul; its interesting that the enemy are seen as effeminate when the movie is fetishistic towards the hardened bodies of the spartans. Which made it "hilarnager" (try say that fast!) when......well was it me or was there a romantic subplot between the son of the captain (who, talking about channeling spirits, was clearly funneling the spirit of Ben Kingsley in The house of sand and fog the bit where he shouts "MY SON MY SON" a terrible film and for some reason that bit always makes be laugh where he's running around shouting it out, anyway focus Mills focus) The captains son and his friend?
SPOILER The talking monkey's and penguin dance at the end was "shocking" END SPOILER
BONG: I really thought the narrator was funny, the fact that he delivered every line like it was his last, even things like "I'll have SIX sugars in my tea AND BE DAMNEDDDDDD!!!" Six years at RDA two years at the gym pays off you know. SPOILER When he sank beneath the liquid metal, I cried real tears END SPOILERS
BONG: The Good bits, and yes there were good bits in it. Gerald Butler is the new king of shouty lines and is very good indeed, as was the actress playing the queen, the visuals were usually fantastic (my favourite bit, the army watching the ships crash on the rocks in the rain was stunning) the battles are really well cut, (although too many slowmos) and choreographed and it kind of gives me faith that providing he gets a good person on the script his adaptation of watchmen should be in safe hands. SPOILER when they all laugh while walking into the sunset holding hands...WOW
Anyway just one or two things in my head after the screening, I think the 50-55 percent rating on rotten tomatoes is fair, although T.O.H has a far harsher word to say about the film. Anyway again thoughts opinions and what nots are welcome.
SPOILER; The pancakes were lovely.....END SPOILER!
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Yes, I disagree about the good bits part: there weren't any.
Oh, and Keanu Reeves could have played Leonidas: playing "hard and silent" isn't so difficult. Just make a face like you are tasting a wine gum stuck in your teeth, and there's yer 'conflicted hero.' Not that Leonidas was conflicted, exactly, except about kneeling (maybe he had a bad case of housemaid's knee?)
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