Canal friends

Should first mention that in most of the coverage of the passing of Keith Floyd, there's of course mentions of drink, ladies, rather chaotic presentations and while yes that's all part of the charm I should say that Floyd, to me anyway, was the first person to actually get out there and show the world in all its culinary delights. Taking his show all over away from the kitchen with just a stove a wok and a large bottle of wine (and of course a camera man) so thank you Mr Floyd for that.

Anyway a quick mention of yesterdays lunch; I'm currently working in a primary school alongside a student with special needs, as the weather has been so nice (and by the way am I the only person who thinks the weathers been really nice this year its just that I've heard countless people complain of a lack of sun spoiling their chances of wearing shutter shades so poor poor pity full them.) As the weather has been nice I've been enjoying my lunch alongside Alystone canal.
Yesterday I sat eating my chicken tikka sarnies (hmmmmm) when a women in her sixes started opening the locks ready for her husband to guide the boat into the lock. Seeing as she was opening the gates on her own and with time on my hands I offered her some help which she accepted. After chatting for a little bit waiting for the water to rise in the lock she crossed over to open one gate and I waited for the other. As I'm waiting a man wanders up to me its only when he's about 3 metres away that A) He starts shouting out random swear laden sentences (example "what the F... are you B... doing?" "put some F.... strength in it you f....) and B) He's wearing the following clothes, a black nightdress, painted nails, make up and fair enough up to this point but its the drawn on toothbrush mustache, swastika and the handcuff hanging from one arm that's making me wonder juuuust a little bit, the drawn on mustache and swatstika have been attempted to be scrubbed off but that just leaves them looking like a motion blur. He comes
over and then with the words "Come on gay boy!" attempts to help me open the gate, well I say attempt but really he kind of leans against it for 10 seconds, says some more swear words then kind of staggers upright and decides to watch me open the gate myself all the while we're being watched with some bemusement by the lady on the other side. So whilst we're opening the gates off our new friend trots at one point deciding to shout abuse at a passer by thereby possibly ruining their attempts to feed the ducks before deciding to goose step around the canal path, the last I see as I head back to work (and more grateful for having to return to a group of rather excitable 8 year olds) is him laying sprawled over the canal gate dispensing his swear laden words.

So heaven knows what Monday might bring.

Annnnnyway I'm eating